Sometimes I felt happy, contented with things and people around me.

Sometimes I felt lonely, that there is no 1 that I can really relate to, to really seek comfort to.

Some1 that I know n trust would accept me completely as who I am and always be there for me.

Sometimes I would just go with the flow, do the things that I'm doing and I want to do.

Sometimes I would feel lost, with no sense of directions, don't know where to go.

Sometimes I felt calm, sometimes I felt restless.

Maybe this is the trait of Cancer Horoscope? Drastic Mood changes and all lol.

They say 1 would grow up each time after going through something everytime.

Different friends, girls walk in and out of your life everytime.

Whenever and whatever things that happens or come your way, it is just a matter of how u take it.

They often say I would definitely able to have a gf if I really wanted to.

Yea I know.

But it only apply to having a gf for the sake of having a gf.

It is just that whenever I got serious into a girl, she would just be sniffed off by some1 eventually which I don't know why.

But oh well, maybe I just haven't met the right girl yet.

And oh yea, I've got a problem with letting go too.

Maybe that is the reason y I still can't move on from this.

Let time heal everything.

For now I just want to learn to be independent, emotionally and mentally.

I want to take things that come my way in my life independently, challenging myself to take it.

And to be a better person each time.

I just wanna give my best in whatever things I do, and never to let myself down.

Although the path ahead looks misty and uncertain

But I'm ready for the future.

Let's go Lester!

=]

Hmmm time flies and I've already completed my first 2 n a half week of confinements in the army already.

It has been so long since I really blog too. The past few posts are just rantings.

Right now is time for a good reflection over my recent life activities already.

As time pass by, I felt more n more like an adult already.

Especially ever since after my first entry to NS.

I was happy to had done the stuffs that I wanted to do before going in and I'm happy with the results too.

- Brought n made presents for both Chow and Nigel. Hope you 2 would be contented about it.

- Pulling my fitness back. My efforts had really paid off. Thanks to my own regular trainings, my timing improved to 9:31mins on the first Cat test, and I guess I improved more than that in my IPPT. The other 4 stations I've done well too. But of cuz I'm not going to stop here and I will continue to aim for Company Best PT.

- Cleared doubts with xy. At least I know what she is thinking about and that my doubts are cleared too. The best thing to happen for this for now is to maintain the friendship between us, with no doubts and all. And yea I've managed to achieve this. Right now all I hope for u is to be happy with Victor if u 2 r really going to get together, and that he treats u well. And of cuz, remain good frens n I will always be here for u no matter wad in the future.

- Really appreciate for all the well wishes and outings just for my enlistment from all my friends and of cuz my own family.

Today was my first book out. I was so eager for this all the time before book out. But once I reached home, immediately I felt lost, dont know what to do, dont know where to go. All my frens were either busy or in NS. Until at night like maybe an hour later then can meet them.

I accompanied grandparents n sis to eat today, parents n sis tml. But in between all this, really at a lost in what to do. Guess I've really got used to packed and eventful life in the army already.

All this while sometimes at the back of my head, stuffs like my future path, my family's current financial status and etc would pop out occasionally every now n then. Sometimes I just can't help to think about it though I know I shouldn't be worrying all about this right now.

During the 2 weeks plus stay, RSAF, Navy and Army have been giving their recruitment talks and everything. There are talks about police too, which I've withdraw my contract earlier. For that point sometimes my brain really feels like cracking whenever I think about it. Things like what I'm going to do next after army. Go for degree? What degree n career to pursue of? Things like this drove me nuts. But at the end of the day I always remind myself that these stuffs shouldn't be filling up in my brain right now. The correct thing to do now is to concentrate and enjoy on my bmt. I hope that I would had a fruitful experience in not only bmt, but the rest of my military life, n of cuz strive to excel and to achieve something out of it.

I guess Cancer Zodiac Sign people really tend to have extreme moodswing. But I guess it's okay as long as I control my emotions the right way.

Although I still misses alot of people all this while, but the thing to do right now is to be independent both mentally n emotionally, to take on a this new life that is awaiting for me.

Really who knows what would all of us would become in years to come. One can sit down n wonder, or hope to be some1 that they want to be.

But for me, I've to understand 1 thing, is that

whoever we will become tomorrow are all shaped up by what are the things that I do today.

I should start to put in more faith in myself, like what I was in the past in the things that I love to do, and to have the never say die attitude.

Becuz I know that whenever I gave up something without even trying my upmost best to achieve it, the person that I let down isn't any1 but myself.

I also want to grow up to be a mature, responsible and good ethics individual & leader.

With all this in mind, I would push myself to face whatever that is to come n live life to my upmost fullest.

Good luck to me. =]