it has been so long i blogged.
all this while was lazy to blog and in fact, has doubts of sharing my thoughts publicily.
but then now suddenly got feel blog, so here i am lor haha.
it has been 1 year since FO..
seeing what and how the juniors did their camp prep reminded me alot of memories.
been a senior is not easy..
feed too much become spoon feed, dont care too much become neglect.
sometimes when you speak, have to think so much just to determine whether is ur statement fair and useful, need care about their feelings, right or wrong. before you can speak.
i dont know what i have been doing is right anot actually..
but in d end, i guess there are no definite right and wrong in such things.
and.. seeing some things happen or give problem, which is outside of your area, you cant really do or say anything to help. bcos u got no right to, and has less knowledge.
but seeing things happen yet i cant do something impactful to help really feels like shit.
and seeing that club has become a year by year system sucks too.
many things in my head but i cant just say them out as easily, and with the consequences to bear if really say out. i dont even know i am right anot in d first place..
its like the same feeling i felt, being helpless.
After so long, im still unable to come out of my shell.
i still questioned the club system til this day..
and i found that i am only further and further away from you all.
the feeling sucks becos you felt alone, facing the world alone.
sometimes you cant stick to what you think is right and yet keep close relationships at the same time too.
felt so alone.
Discover yourself, decide what you want. After that, simply do whatever you can to achieve it. It doesn't matter how the outcome would turn out at the end, just know and make sure that til the very last moment of my life, I won't live in regret. :)
